do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You need Xanax blowdarts
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
