I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
