you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
