Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
