I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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