How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize