My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
