I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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