im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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