Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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