wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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