Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
