Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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