Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
