Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
