I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
