I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
