Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize