glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
