that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
