do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
