I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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