If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
