ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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