I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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