So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
