Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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