final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
