i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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