I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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