While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
