My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
