you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
where are my eyebrows?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
