her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
