peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
