just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
