Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
