You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
