the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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