I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
