we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
