The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
