I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
