I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
