thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
