well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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