One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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