Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
