Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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