I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
