Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
