I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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