Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
