New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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