no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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