Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
