I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i came on her dog
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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