Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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