Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
