do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
