I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
