You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
