Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize