he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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