Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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