Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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