can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
