Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
