nutella sex= disaster
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
