If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
