ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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