dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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