so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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